This time it was my turn to hit the stage! Playing at Chicks With Picks May last Sunday was the first of two performances I’m doing as part of my capstone project. On this occasion, I played four of my five new songs written about my experience as an asexual person. And I was quite nervous! This was my first performance in two years, first performance as a soloist, and first time performing as DestroyerMariko. But it was great fun, with such a supportive audience. I was definitely the odd one out as the only electronic/industrial musician and growler, but I think the crowd enjoyed seeing something a bit different and I was flattered by their cheers when I told them I’d be back on the 30th! And I got so much good feedback afterwards, ranging from people liking my musical style, my dancing, my professionalism, my outfit, all the way through to very particular details like my clear diction. I handed out a couple of business cards and may have made a handful of new fans!

But there are also some things I definitely want to improve on for the next show and the future.

For one thing, my hair was really annoying! It kept getting in my face even more than it did in rehearsal and was driving me nuts, as cool as it is for the headbanging side of things. I had to keep pushing it out of my face, because in rehearsal I’d found that if I didn’t, I risked inhaling it and gagging! And it’s such a strange problem to have, but on the other hand, this is the first time I’ve performed without dreads in ages, so I’m really not used to how the natural stuff operates as I jump around. I miss my dreads so much. At some point, I’ll have to get new ones installed again. In the short term though, I’m not entirely sure what to do, but either I tie some of it back, or I try and tame my hair with some product. I don’t know much about hair though, so I’m not sure what’s the best option!

I also think I really need to wear contacts. We did discuss in class afterwards how “me” the glasses are, and how it shows that I don’t care about convention, and I do love that idea… but unfortunately, it’s not really practical. After all this time, I’d forgotten what it’s like dancing around under lights, and hadn’t accounted for the sweat. Towards the end of my set, in the most active, final song, my glasses actually threatened to be thrown from my face as I danced, and so I had to hold them in place, but was then so distracted that I messed up the next line. If I wear contacts, then I shouldn’t have this problem. So I’ve found my stash, and they don’t expire for another two years, I probably just need to do a couple trial runs to make sure I’m comfortable with them, and if all is well, then that’s what I’ll do for my next performance. Otherwise… maybe if I put the most active song first, it’ll be less of a problem because I hopefully won’t be sweating too much that early?

The one other thing I’d like to try changing up is my costume. This wasn’t a negative at all – in fact a lot of people commented on how much they liked my outfit. However, I would like to try different things just to see what I feel works best. For this performance, I avoided cutesy cat stuff, because my goal was to avoid asexual stereotypes such as the lonely cat lady appearance. But I also didn’t want to go too far in the opposite direction because I don’t want people to see me and just think sexy. However, it turns out that people interpret my dancing as sexy anyway, and I can’t help that, it’s just how I dance. And it’s also been pointed out to me that maybe that’s not a terrible thing, seeing as it overturns the stereotypes of asexuals being bland, boring, unpassionate beings. So I haven’t decided yet how I might change things up, I mean I do like the somewhat gender non-conforming goth-punk vibe, but it’s worth trying different things. Perhaps this time though, my main restrictions will actually have to do with my health and the weather. I seem to have caught a cold and there’s a chance of rain next Wednesday, so that may just force me to wear the same sort of sensible-but-gothic clothing that best allows me to keep warm.

I guess we’ll see. I just think that for all these things I could change this time, it’s worth giving it a go to help me decide what works well and what might be less helpful.

–

Anyway! My next performance is:

May 30th: Free Entry Open Mic
7pm – I’m on first!
The Townie (next to Newtown Station)
326 King St, Newtown
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/freeentryshowcase/

–

And now I’ll leave you with some more pictures from the night. Unfortunately I don’t have a whole lot to say about them this time, as I was either way too nervous before my performance, or full of adrenaline afterwards, to really analyse their sets, but I suppose the photos give you an idea of what the night was like and how different the other performers were to myself. There are also some I didn’t take photos of, as I ended up talking to a lot of friends and fans after I played. Overall though, it was a good night as usual for Chicks With Picks. Many thanks to them for having me!

Leah Randall

Imogen Hales (also playing on the 30th of May, 7:30pm at the Townie, right after me)

Maryann

Olga Solar

Bre

M’leigh

Sister Ursuline

How exciting to be on the same show as Sister Ursuline! Was great to see her again!